21 Comments
User's avatar
Alex Czerniewska's avatar

Thank you! I grew up in london and it drives me crazy that people think you ‘should’ move out with kids. It’s fantastic growing up around diverse communities and views, and with things to do and places to go as a teen and young adult, and a place to stay for a few years when you’re starting out in a career.

Expand full comment
Frankie's avatar

I'm already a bit jealous of what they'll be able to do in their teen years. Certainly beats spending the weekend hanging out in Watford Harlequin shopping center - the highlight of mine!!

Expand full comment
Sophie Hines's avatar

Totally agree on all of this - I’ve often thought I “should” move out but I actually think I’d hate it! Still love London and get so much out of living here (even in a shoebox)

Expand full comment
Frankie's avatar

Who needs square footage?!

Expand full comment
Alice Vincent's avatar

Loved this so much. Very important to acknowledge the privilege, as you say, but I love parenting here and I can’t imagine doing it anywhere else. Many of the things people assume are difficult (no car! Public transport! Everything being busy!) are what make things small (and large) adventures. I’ve discovered a different kind of London since raising a child here.

Expand full comment
Frankie's avatar

There's nothing like spending an afternoon on the overground platform watching the trains come and go!

Expand full comment
El's avatar

I've had four friends leave for more space for their families. But I don't have family or hometown elsewhere and the pandemic taught me how I want to be close to my loved ones. I loved growing up here and hope to stay, in our little home in one of the cheapest boroughs. It's so unaffordable, I wish everyone had the opportunity to choose to live here because it's such a privilege to have all the resources London enjoys. I deeply value public space and public transport, and London has so much of both.

Expand full comment
Kate L's avatar

Another proud London mum with no desire to leave (it really would only be economic reasons that would force me out, as two x public sector worker household it is likely). I love raising my daughter in London for all the reasons you give. The thought alone of queuing for the Science Museum on a once a year trip in the school holidays makes me stay firmly put in Zone 3…

Expand full comment
Gemma Cheney's avatar

Yes, London mothers unite! We are giving our kids the gift of diversity and challenge and opportunity. We perpetually think about moving out, but we don’t want to be the only gays in the village (even if we’d have a bigger garden!)

Expand full comment
Alice Holland-Lu's avatar

You have summed it up SO well! 👏👏👏

Expand full comment
Lyndsay Kaldor's avatar

I was born and bred in North London and appear to be doing the same with my children! I have many of the same concerns as you (though also acknowledge the privilege of being here) and yet in the same breath, I have loved taking my kids out into town during these Easter holidays, it reminded me of my mum taking my sister and I out, so many little adventures, and despite the effort it takes, it really is such a brilliant and inspiring place to be xx p.s. and yes the coffee xx

Expand full comment
Ali Hellings's avatar

I even think people DO help with buggies! Sometimes they just do it completely wordlessly..

Expand full comment
Ruth Abrams's avatar

ALL OF THIS!! In exactly the same position and still adore living in London (even when I hate it). Great piece of writing.

Expand full comment
Clare Skelton-Morris's avatar

I loved this, thanks Frankie. I grew up in rural Northumberland but have lived in Glasgow for the past seven years during which we’ve had two sons. I always thought I’d “go back” to the country but more and more I feel so lucky to be surrounded by friends, community, culture, diversity, and activism as well as lochs, forests and mountains an hours drive away (just don’t get me started on bin collections and pavement parking…)

I don’t know what’s next for us but it’s heartening to read so many similar experiences 💕

Expand full comment
Lindsay Sword's avatar

Same convo happening in NYC all the time! I love living here with my family for all the reasons you listed, especially the feeling of community every time I walk out of my apartment and the constant inspiration and variety on the city streets (never a dull moment!). I also always remind myself that nothing is permanent. So if we decide to switch it up one day, we can. But so far that day hasn’t come! We love city living!

Expand full comment
YoototheMi's avatar

This resonates across the pond as well! We moved from New York City to Washington, DC and realized that’s as “suburban” as we wanted to go.

Expand full comment
Vicki Rendall's avatar

I loved this & want to reassure you- as someone who lives in the countryside with children and who gets embarrassingly excited when they get to come into London- all of your reasons to stay make complete sense to me. The countryside can be amazing, sure, but winter is tough. Mud season runs for about 6 mths of the year & a taxi to a pub 1 mile up the road is £22 single (which you have to book at least 2 weeks in advance) & let’s not get started on the job market. What saved me from going completely bonkers when I moved here 7 years ago was making mum friends. And the fact that I can get a decent flat white (although I have to drive 2 miles for it…)

Expand full comment
Kylie-Ann's avatar

We have taken to a bit of a half way house. We get the high childcare costs and mid level season tickets along with london council tax, but the pay off is to even be able to buy a house we can fit in. I think I would enjoy the conveniences of inner London, and I also regularly want to pack it all up an move to the sea but at the minute work is keeping us here - we are a 15m train journey to London and after a day meeting my friends and walking along the Thames, I have seemingly fallen in love with it again.

Expand full comment
Claire Collis's avatar

It’s the teenage years that terrified me enough to move out (only as far as Guildford). Although teens will be teens, I feel less worried for them on the streets here. I would also 100% move to Devon for the full on Good Life if it wasn’t for the teenage years of having to constantly be their taxi driver with nothing nearby!

Expand full comment