- prepare for the birth you don’t want, not the ideal one. My emergency section was a million times better because I had the enormous pants, the nightie and the peppermint tea bags in my suitcase;
- take all the pain relief and outsource the pain relief scheduling to your partner (my husband was brilliant at just bringing whatever pill it was that hour, unprompted);
- get up and walk (slowly) as soon as you are able. I thought my hospital was sadistic in making me do this but mobility was critical to recovery and I was walking (slowly) a mile each way to the park within a week;
- LACTULOSE;
- no one told me about the blood-thinning injections beforehand. I curse the bloody antenatal class teacher who told us to pack fairy lights (I did not) but didn’t bother to mention blood thinners are routine after the operation and I had to have six weeks’ worth. This wouldn’t have changed anything but it would have nice for this not to have been a surprise on top of everything else.
Hahaha fairy lights!!! 🙄 Urgh those injections. Yes walking!! And yes pain killers. I remember a midwife saying not to wait for the pain to kick in, just to keep up the constant stream of tablets. X
Thank you for a wonderful article. I have had 2 c sections. The first because 4 days before she was born, my baby was estimated to be 11 and a half pounds and my second because of recurrent miscarriages. Our first, we knew the basics but we never had a consistent medical team so were just a bit "let's go with the flow" although I struggled with feelings of failure afterwards.
Our second was during the pandemic and we had the most wonderful BACS team (Birth after C-section team) We asked for a gentle Caesarean, so the team were very quiet, we had the screen lowered so I could see our daughter being born, and my husband was able to tell me the sex (both times) and second time around I delayed weighing so I could have skin to skin straight away.
Both births while very different, were magical and are also the reason my two very big babies arrived safely into the world. I managed to feed my first straight away while I was being stitched up but my second daughter wasn't interested in milk for at least an hour and I hadn't realised that your milk might take a little while to come in with a c section.
I also experienced insane itchy skin after my second and didn't realise this was due to the spinal block and that I could have asked for something to stop the itching.
A tip I tried after my second was to do a gentle stretch with my arms up above my head every time I walked through a doorway. Random but it really helped with the healing process. And putting a pad over my scar when I was going to the loo so there was no pressure on it.
All births should be respected and all mothers choices should be respected.
I love your articles and always enjoy finding some new things to add to my wishlist!
That's such a good tip about stretching! Your second birth sounds really lovely and so nice to hear that it can feel like a special and positive moment. 💕💕X
Great article Frankie! I had a c section last January (placenta previa). Unfortunately our hospital didn’t allow overnight stays and that first night was hell being on my own, I was on morphine and didn’t sleep a wink as I couldn’t put my baby back in his cot and the nursing staff were dealing with a woman giving birth in the car park. One thing I’d also suggest is the biggest loosest shoes you own as the water retention can be excessive due to the drip (I wore my partners sliders home with socks my feet were unrecognisable!)
Also if there is a c section scar massage therapist near to you, absolutely do it! My scar is hypertrophic and it helped a lot but sadly will never be a thin flat white line but she did amazing work on the discomfort i experienced around it. The painless suction machine they use work wonders on unsticking the layers and creating more movement around the scar so the ‘apron’ can retract. The apron was also something I knew nothing about and despite being slim I’ve ended up with a small overhang because of how the layers were stitched back. I didn’t really have a choice but to have a c section but if appearance is something anyone worries about and it’s an elective section, then definitely something work considering.
Finally, whatever drugs they offer you, take them!! I was not at all prepared for the pain after. I know it’s not everyone’s experience but wow, I didn’t realise how painful it would be once the pain meds wore off. Take the drugs. Don’t try and be a hero! You’ve got a human to look after and bed rest is unlikely even though you’ve just had major abdominal surgery. 💛
Great post! The night dress really got me - when I finally stopped trying to wear high waist pyjamas and put on a night dress it was heaven! Think someone else has mentioned it here but I also took slippers in my normal size not knowing how enormously swollen my feet would become. That was a shocker to me
VAGINAL! (I think the single proudest I've ever felt of my little brother was after his daughter was born - via c-section - and while we were chatting all things labour, he haltingly said 'vaginal birth' rather than 'normal' or 'natural'. Genuinely so proud.) xx
Love this piece and it hugely resonates - I had a c section with our first son and the recovery was tougher than I think the media likes to make out especially with a newborn and I’m about to go through it in a few months with our second baby - I would add to prepare for the same loss of pelvic floor as if you’ve had a vaginal birth (it felt so odd) and to only compare your recovery to the day before asking yourself “do I feel better than yesterday” rather than comparing your friend who might be out on long walks 4 days after birth!
Thank you for this, Frankie! I can relate to it so much. I had an emergency c section in June 2021 at the tail end of the pandemic when I stayed in hospital for three nights and my husband could only ‘visit’ for two hours a day. I have no idea how my now almost four-year-old and I survived those first days especially as he wouldn’t latch on (he eventually did – in the comfort of our home). And yet I’m so glad that I had a c section because it potentially saved my little boy’s life and I’d do it again if I had another baby. Thanks for raising awareness of this. It’s definitely not the easy option if recovery is anything to go by! x
I'm so sorry you couldn't have some one stay, that seems incredibly unfair. The apron was such a shock - I'm pleased you've found massage helps. Thanks for sharing about the shoes! I'd forgotten but I think I also went home in my husband's shoes 🤣
Thank you so much for your message! Gosh those visiting hours were madness and so, so tough. 💔Xx
Great article. I’d add:
- prepare for the birth you don’t want, not the ideal one. My emergency section was a million times better because I had the enormous pants, the nightie and the peppermint tea bags in my suitcase;
- take all the pain relief and outsource the pain relief scheduling to your partner (my husband was brilliant at just bringing whatever pill it was that hour, unprompted);
- get up and walk (slowly) as soon as you are able. I thought my hospital was sadistic in making me do this but mobility was critical to recovery and I was walking (slowly) a mile each way to the park within a week;
- LACTULOSE;
- no one told me about the blood-thinning injections beforehand. I curse the bloody antenatal class teacher who told us to pack fairy lights (I did not) but didn’t bother to mention blood thinners are routine after the operation and I had to have six weeks’ worth. This wouldn’t have changed anything but it would have nice for this not to have been a surprise on top of everything else.
Echo literally everything you said above. Thank god for friends who had their kids years before me to give me all their notes so I was prepped. ❤️
Hahaha fairy lights!!! 🙄 Urgh those injections. Yes walking!! And yes pain killers. I remember a midwife saying not to wait for the pain to kick in, just to keep up the constant stream of tablets. X
Thank you for a wonderful article. I have had 2 c sections. The first because 4 days before she was born, my baby was estimated to be 11 and a half pounds and my second because of recurrent miscarriages. Our first, we knew the basics but we never had a consistent medical team so were just a bit "let's go with the flow" although I struggled with feelings of failure afterwards.
Our second was during the pandemic and we had the most wonderful BACS team (Birth after C-section team) We asked for a gentle Caesarean, so the team were very quiet, we had the screen lowered so I could see our daughter being born, and my husband was able to tell me the sex (both times) and second time around I delayed weighing so I could have skin to skin straight away.
Both births while very different, were magical and are also the reason my two very big babies arrived safely into the world. I managed to feed my first straight away while I was being stitched up but my second daughter wasn't interested in milk for at least an hour and I hadn't realised that your milk might take a little while to come in with a c section.
I also experienced insane itchy skin after my second and didn't realise this was due to the spinal block and that I could have asked for something to stop the itching.
A tip I tried after my second was to do a gentle stretch with my arms up above my head every time I walked through a doorway. Random but it really helped with the healing process. And putting a pad over my scar when I was going to the loo so there was no pressure on it.
All births should be respected and all mothers choices should be respected.
I love your articles and always enjoy finding some new things to add to my wishlist!
That's such a good tip about stretching! Your second birth sounds really lovely and so nice to hear that it can feel like a special and positive moment. 💕💕X
This is such a generous article - thank you for sharing. Love reading your Substack; thank you for improving my style post bebe
Thank you for such a lovely message 💖
Great article Frankie! I had a c section last January (placenta previa). Unfortunately our hospital didn’t allow overnight stays and that first night was hell being on my own, I was on morphine and didn’t sleep a wink as I couldn’t put my baby back in his cot and the nursing staff were dealing with a woman giving birth in the car park. One thing I’d also suggest is the biggest loosest shoes you own as the water retention can be excessive due to the drip (I wore my partners sliders home with socks my feet were unrecognisable!)
Also if there is a c section scar massage therapist near to you, absolutely do it! My scar is hypertrophic and it helped a lot but sadly will never be a thin flat white line but she did amazing work on the discomfort i experienced around it. The painless suction machine they use work wonders on unsticking the layers and creating more movement around the scar so the ‘apron’ can retract. The apron was also something I knew nothing about and despite being slim I’ve ended up with a small overhang because of how the layers were stitched back. I didn’t really have a choice but to have a c section but if appearance is something anyone worries about and it’s an elective section, then definitely something work considering.
Finally, whatever drugs they offer you, take them!! I was not at all prepared for the pain after. I know it’s not everyone’s experience but wow, I didn’t realise how painful it would be once the pain meds wore off. Take the drugs. Don’t try and be a hero! You’ve got a human to look after and bed rest is unlikely even though you’ve just had major abdominal surgery. 💛
Great post! The night dress really got me - when I finally stopped trying to wear high waist pyjamas and put on a night dress it was heaven! Think someone else has mentioned it here but I also took slippers in my normal size not knowing how enormously swollen my feet would become. That was a shocker to me
VAGINAL! (I think the single proudest I've ever felt of my little brother was after his daughter was born - via c-section - and while we were chatting all things labour, he haltingly said 'vaginal birth' rather than 'normal' or 'natural'. Genuinely so proud.) xx
Yes!!!! I'm proud of him too! X
Love this piece and it hugely resonates - I had a c section with our first son and the recovery was tougher than I think the media likes to make out especially with a newborn and I’m about to go through it in a few months with our second baby - I would add to prepare for the same loss of pelvic floor as if you’ve had a vaginal birth (it felt so odd) and to only compare your recovery to the day before asking yourself “do I feel better than yesterday” rather than comparing your friend who might be out on long walks 4 days after birth!
One day at a time!! Wishing you all the love for baby two - so exciting xx
Brilliant article- thank you. Xx
Thank you for this, Frankie! I can relate to it so much. I had an emergency c section in June 2021 at the tail end of the pandemic when I stayed in hospital for three nights and my husband could only ‘visit’ for two hours a day. I have no idea how my now almost four-year-old and I survived those first days especially as he wouldn’t latch on (he eventually did – in the comfort of our home). And yet I’m so glad that I had a c section because it potentially saved my little boy’s life and I’d do it again if I had another baby. Thanks for raising awareness of this. It’s definitely not the easy option if recovery is anything to go by! x
I should also say that I love your style advice, obviously!
I'm so sorry you couldn't have some one stay, that seems incredibly unfair. The apron was such a shock - I'm pleased you've found massage helps. Thanks for sharing about the shoes! I'd forgotten but I think I also went home in my husband's shoes 🤣