I'm coming at you hot off the back of a seriously intense parenting week. My son caught chicken pox on the very last day of our holiday, so instead of travelling home, we (me and the two kids) stayed where we were (my parents’ house) and my husband went back to London for work.
Which in some ways was good because the weather was great and my parents have a garden and live by the beach, so it was much easier to stay away from other children than if we were at home. But then also not so good because I had a work deadline and trying to do that while looking after one itchy child and one soon-to-be itchy child with no childcare was so hard.
And I feel like I deserve a medal. Or a spa break. But I won't get either because this exhausting juggle is the sort of thing mothers do all the time, isn't it…
So, if you’ve also had a challenging week, here's to you. I hope you’ve got some wine.
I've been on holiday; a week in Cornwall in a caravan. Before having children this would never have appealed, but now I find the basic simplicity of it all really works. The beach is a stone’s throw away, there's a café with pizza/sausage/fish and chips and choc ices on the menu, and a little shop with buckets and spades. And weirdly, the smallness of the caravan feels easy with the kids - everything is compact and well-designed and close-to-hand. Cute too were the bunnies that popped out of their burrow every evening and bounced around in front of the windows. My son was thrilled by them.
While I was there I thought about the interview I’d just read with Sharmaine Lovegrove in Lynn Enright’s substack, How’s Everyone Doing? (I recommend it in my last post) in which Sharmaine talks about taking her kids abroad on holiday and how exhausting it is and how maybe it’s not worth it:
“One summer, maybe two summers ago, I was watching people on Twitter complaining about how awful it is to take their kids on holiday. And I'm like, But whose idea is it to take kids on holiday? Why would you want that? Why are you taking your kids on holiday? It's not holiday with a one-year-old.
I went to Jamaica with my children on parental leave between six and nine months and basically I have not travelled with them again, because I know it's difficult for them. They don't like it. I won't take them anywhere. They don't need a holiday. I need a holiday.”
I think what Sharmaine said has stuck with me because I've never taken my kids abroad - or anywhere more exciting on holiday than the West Country or Wales. They don't have passports. They've never been on a plane. Not because I'm against it in the slightest, I just haven't been able to wrap my head around the logistics of looking after my kids in a totally new place where I don't know if there is a supply of size 4 nappies in the local shop or how to get to the hospital if I need to. It's felt beyond my capacity.
If I’m totally honest, I don't see the point in spending a lot of money to go somewhere super sunny where I’m worried about them burning all the time. Or wandering over to a pool and falling in.
But at this time of the year, when Instagram is full of everyone having incredible hot holidays with small kids and making it all look so easy and fun, I start to feel guilty about me not doing it. And jealous. And like I should try harder.
So Sharmaine’s words have been comforting. Affirming too; I’ve heard enough in-flight horror stories from parent-friends to know that dealing with babies and toddlers on a plane isn't a breeze. I’m not up for doing it yet.
And what I wanted to say was that, just in case you’ve also been looking at Instagram or talking to friends, nursery parents etc, and feeling crappy about not going somewhere far-flung and fabulous with the kids, I can vouch for the fact they’ll be just as happy paddling in slightly freezing rock pools and having chips for tea. And when you all get conjunctivitis (second day! Lol) it's a relief to be able to quickly drive to Boots and stock up on cotton pads and Calpol.
Ok clothes!
Wherever you're going away this summer - near, far or even if you're staying at home - an easy little edit of pieces is going to make holiday dressing that much more effortless.
Every stylist I’ve ever interviewed/spoken to about holiday packing has recommended sticking to a limited colour palette, which I find really works. You know everything goes with everything else, and it provides you with a cohesive look which feels considered and like you've spent time on it without having to actually spend time on it. Pick three or four colours and run with that.
This method also helps keep your packing list tight which, as you’ll know/come to find out, is helpful as most of the suitcase is given over to kids’ stuff.
A nice sun hat
Maybe it's because I’m getting older but I’m so fearful of burning my face, and it's so easy to accidentally catch the sun when you're more focused on what the kids are doing. So as well as factor 50 (my skincare-geek friend recommended me this and it's non greasy or cloggy) a brimmed sun hat is going to provide protection. I’ve been throwing on an old baseball cap, but this season's woven buckets (like this from H&M £37.99) are uber chic.
An easy coord
Shorts on the beach are unavoidable with small kids - there's so much crouching/bending down, etc. And I love a beach short. It feels more modern than a sarong. Go for a coord and you’ve got the top half sorted, too. This gingham crinkle cotton set from Hush (top £65, shorts £49) could also easily be worn away from the beach with a leather tote and pair of tennis shoes. And the top has an opening down the front to hoick a boob out of if needs be.
Slide on sandals
Because often there just isn't time to do up a buckle. Marks & Spencer is having a great moment with its accessories - and you can always rely on the shoes being comfy. The metal loop on these slides (£39.50) is an elevating touch, plus they’re at price point that won't break your heart if they get salty sea water on them.
Post-shower dress
So much of dressing with small kids is about ease and practicality and clothes that work for them. But it's so important to have times when you put something on for you, because it makes you feel sexy and carefree and liberated. For me, the moments after the kids have gone to bed (hopefully for the night) and I've had a shower and I’m drinking a cold glass of something with a bowl of nuts and crisps is the time I exhale and unwind and AM ON HOLIDAY. And I want to be wearing the simplest of dresses that’s comfortable and cute - which this COS midi (£85) is. The shirred bodice is stretchy and gives some degree of boob support so you might not feel like you need to wear a bra (the ideal!) and how sweet are the little ties at the back of the straps?!
Big beach bag
Your carry-everything bag, the sunshine edition. This crochet tote (£85) has a canvas lining so nothing will fall out of the holes and a little pouch for keys/money/phone, etc.
Swimming costume
I’ve talked about chic child-friendly swimsuits already, but off the back of that post, and a piece I wrote for the Telegraph on a similar subject, I have been recommended Une Piece so many times, I had to share. It's expensive, but several people have told me the swimwear is incredibly flattering and the only brand they wear. This is the classic square neck (£209) and it comes with little bows you can attach to the straps if you want a cutesie vibe.
One more thing…
I've been trying out natural deodorants for years. Most are rubbish. One I found that worked as well as the non-natural stuff is Aurelia cream deodorant, but it's quite expensive. I bought a Fussy deodorant (£15 for a holder and one refill) three weeks ago and, my goodness, it's great. Not only is the formula aluminium, paraben and sulfate-free, the refill design cuts down on plastic. I’ve got the Cloud Nine Fresh scent, a mix of cotton, sandalwood and vetiver which is really, really nice.
That's all for now. You're doing great, Frankie x
I absolutely love this. Going on holiday with small children just feels like paying to go and be tired somewhere else. Also love fashion advice that includes the ability to hoik out a boob. Essential.