I feel slightly ridiculous writing this (on Thursday) while it’s chucking it down – gah, the weather this week! – but we're nearly at June and summer holidays are coming up, so we should talk about swimwear.
I'm not sure buying/wearing swimwear is ever without issue. It's so tied up in body image and what you think you’re supposed to look like. Which is emotionally fraught regardless of whether you’ve had kids or not – for all the talk of body positivity/diversity/acceptance etc, the thin and toned ‘beach body ready’ ideal is still very present - and celebrated - on social media and in celebrity culture.
This is why the most at ease I’ve ever felt in a swimming costume was while I was pregnant; it’s such a huge relief when the pressure to have a flat stomach is taken out of the equation.
Once you’ve had kids though, there are a whole new set of challenges to navigate. I’ve found it hard to ignore ‘snap-back’ culture and the wild societal expectations to not look like you’ve just had a child, when you have. Especially when semi-naked on the beach.
Plus, pregnancy has changed my body enough that the swimsuit styles that used to work on me don't anymore. I want more support for my boobs now – but not necessarily underwire. I also have a cesarean scar which I still feel self-conscious about showing, so like briefs big enough to cover it.
There are the practical requirements of being in swimwear with small children too: straps that can't be pulled down by tiny grabby hands; ties/clips that can't easily be undone; tops that don't slip when running after kids; pants that don’t disappear up your bum while crouching over sandcastles.
And then there’s striking the balance of feeling hot and confident in a swimsuit, but not going so sexy that you feel weird hanging out in the family pool. (I wore a super high-cut Hunza G one-piece to take my son swimming when he was tiny and felt both indecent and mortified.)
Oh! And you want to feel comfortable and happy because you’re on holiday and it’s supposed to be fun.
Lots to think about. BUT, I’ve rounded up a little selection that I think ticks the practical boxes and have feel-good-factor. So whether you're going on holiday, or to the local swimming pool, here we go…
The classic black
A black swimsuit is such a comfort-zone style, but it can look really luxe too, especially in a clean silhouette. Also, black in summer is such a look. There's something very European about it in the best possible way. Add a big linen shirt and raffia bag.
Boden swimwear is a high-street gem; it’s well-made, well-priced and, unlike a lot of other high street swimwear, has enough fabric to properly cover your bits. Ignore anything with prints/trims/frills and go super simple, like this V-neck (£75), which also comes as a bikini.
Despite my high-leg mishap, I really rate Hunza G. The crinkle fabric is comfy and flattering and my swimsuit has washed well and kept its shape. The classic square-neck one-piece (£165) comes in a new coverage iteration, which has a lower-cut leg.
The chic neutrals
If you don’t want to go black, but are still after something easy-to-wear that works with all of your holiday clothes then try olive, navy or brown.
This from COS (£65) is such a great shade (team with tan sandals) and the cross-back gives the simple shape a bit of oomph. It doesn’t have any inbuilt support, however the straps are adjustable which helps get a better fit.
I tried on this from M&S (£35) the other week and was very impressed with the fit and how much boob support it had. It’s actually a tummy control style so it also does a bit of smoothing, but I didn’t feel squished in. The ribbed fabric makes it look expensive, too.
Think what you like about Kim Kardashian, but she makes good underwear. I have a Skims maternity bra and shapewear shorts, both of which are well designed and comfortable. This adjustable-strap scoop-back swimming cossie (£88) could easily double as a bodysuit with shorts in the park - or with jeans and hoops in the pub.
The bright
I've lost count of the times I've been recommended Cossie + Co. Everyone goes nuts for the brand’s signature honeycomb fabric, which has been made to hug your body and give gentle support. The colours are great - this pop-y red (£150) is so happy. Look at the summer blue and citron, too.
The striped
My suggestion is to go for plain swimwear as it's less likely to look dated/you get bored of it. However, you can't go wrong with a classic nautical stripe. Hush is another good high-street swim destination and this ribbed costume (£79) has a chic square neckline that's high enough to keep boobs in place but doesn't look frumpy.
The sporty
For when the kids want to do all the beach activities and you need to be involved. The shape of this high-neck (£79) is so clean and stylish, and perfect if you don’t want to show cleavage.
Stay Wild Swim was recommended to me by a mum friend and I love that the brand fits every swimming costume on a range of bodies to make sure it properly fits every size. The Odyssey zipped one-piece (£170) has sculpting panels at the side and double lining for extra hold. It’s giving Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels. The Nomad bikini also looks great - especially the high-waist pants (£70).
The two-piece
I love the look of one-pieces and they somehow feel lower effort with kids. However sometimes it's nice to wear a bikini, especially if you're somewhere hot on holiday.
Tona the Label specialises in tops for big boobs (samples are based on FF cup) and does underwired and non-wired styles. The brand is founded by stylist Tona Stell and her designs are accordingly chic. This checked bikini (top £70, bottoms £50) also comes in a bra-style top (£78) and with high-waist briefs (£50).
This Varley bikini was recommended to me by another fashion mum who says the briefs are particularly great at making your lower stomach feel held and smooth. There's a supportive band in the top, too. It also comes in white and has been double-lined so it doesn't go see-through when wet.
One more for luck because I cannot resist this khaki green (£175) and the twist-front top is going to give flat boobs some perky shape.
One more thing…
The other week I was invited to stay at family-friendly Calcot & Spa with the kids and, oh my goodness, what a place!
I’ll start with the headline: you get FOUR HOURS OF CHILDCARE a day included in the room price. Little kids go to the Ofsted-registered Playbarn which has loads of toys, games, dressing up bits and crafts (my kids absolutely adored it). Ages eight and above can hang out at The Mez and play on consoles or watch a film in the mini cinema. The crèche staff (who are all DBS checked and first-aid trained) are very lovely and make it really easy for you to drop the kids and run towards FREEDOM - aka the spa, outside hot tub, uber chic gym or bar.
Other great things: it's absolutely beautiful with the most glorious grounds and surrounding Cotswold countryside. There are baby wagons and bikes, a big and little kid playground and a teepee with lots of activities.
The food and wine is delicious and there are menus for the kids with bibs/highchairs/baby plates and cups, etc. The hotel also offers a listening service in the evening, so adults can have dinner in the Brasserie while the kids are asleep.
Our family suite had a killer bath tub (plus toys and Bramley Little B products) and the biggest shower I’ve ever seen. AND the kids’ room had a Tonie box with choice of characters which was a huge hit. The hotel also provided a travel cot for my daughter and each kid has their own little bathrobe and Calcot cookies.
It's easy by train from London. We went from Paddington to Kemble which takes just over an hour.
I won't pretend its cheap - family rooms hit around the £500 mark. However, if you're in the market for a luxey family break with proper adult time then this is it.
That’s all for now. You’re doing great, Frankie x