On Wednesday I went to a local park with my daughter and we sat on a bench while she ate her banana. While we sat there, a vehicle pulled up on the road that runs alongside the park. A man got out and loudly spat on the pavement. He then stood behind a nearby black electricity box, his bum facing the park, and did a wee on the pavement while chatting to his friend in the passenger seat.
‘How disgusting’ I thought.
Then I thought of all the times I've sat in that park, or parks just like it, feeding my baby, or crouching next to my son while he throws a tantrum, and felt embarrassed and inappropriate and judged.
And how because of the way our society is set up, some men feel so comfortable with their place in the world, they think it's ok to wee behind an electricity box on a street that has a school and a park on it at ten in the morning.
And how so many women don't feel that comfortable. And because we don't, we often feel we should be quieter, smaller, neater, more contained. Which makes mothering in public harder and more stressful because kids are noisy and messy and the opposite of contained.
I kept thinking about this while the man got back in his vehicle and drove away, and my daughter finished her banana, and a woman pushed a buggy past me shushing her baby. And I made a promise to try to stop being so apologetic for myself, my boobs, my noisy kids.
I know this is a slightly gross story and has nothing to do with clothes. But I thought I’d share it because maybe you’ve also felt bad about yourself in some way when dealing with your kids in public. And maybe this will help you remember not to. Because you shouldn't. We’re all just doing our best.
It's been another week of chicken pox - my youngest this time. So, I'm keeping things sweet and snappy with a handful of the very loveliest things I’ve recently come across.
A non-twee floral dress
I thought I was over floral dresses for the time being, but this has caught my eye. The seventies-esque print feels cooler than a standard floral and it has that timeless quality, so you know you’re still going to want to wear it in summers to come. Also, the wide straps accommodate a bra. I’d style it with the H&M bucket hat I flagged the other week.
Designer-adjacent sandals
Fashion people are talking about A. Emery sandals this summer. Particularly the Jalen style which have chic cross-over straps and a comfortable footbed sole. These are great doppelgängers and much cheaper.
Cute summer pyjamas
A lovely cotton set for making those mornings when you haven’t had time to get dressed, and evenings in on the sofa feel a bit more glamorous.
Easy hot-weather trousers
I know I’ve talked about striped PJ trousers before, but I recently bumped into a fashion friend whose son goes to the same nursery as my kids, and she was wearing a pair with a grey marl sweater and Birks. It reminded me what a good idea they are. Her’s are the judo pants from Spanish brand Datura. However, these Arket linen pants have a very similar stripe and are on sale for £40.
A strawberry sunhat
Super-cute Danish kidswear label, Wheat, is currently on sale and this strawberry sunhat is too adorable to ignore.
The heatwave romper
I picked up this cotton romper for my daughter the other week, when it was boiling and I needed something that was easy and breathable to dress her in. One for if the sun ever comes back, or if you’re going on a hot holiday.
Sun-safe swimmers
I bought a different coloured version of this rash vest and these trunks for my son last summer and he loves wearing them. They look so cool on the beach and the top has UPF 50+ protection which keeps my sun-anxiety at bay. Plus, they’re currently discounted.
Two more things…
This sanitiser was recommended to me by a friend. Apparently TikTok is going mad for it because the alcohol-free formula is great for cleansing your skin after a sweaty workout. Just spray and go. Or use it as intended and keep it in your bag for when the kids have been clawing in dirt and then want a snack. It’s selling out everywhere but it looks like Ocado has it in stock.
I miss reading. I've only read three books this year and have two half-read on my bedside table. Since kids I'm too tired/distracted/flitty-brained to read like I used to. So Elizabeth Morris’ Crib Notes feels totally perfect. The former book publicist and mum-of-two gives snappy reviews of books worth reading, with tips on how easiest to read them (e.g. if there's a great audio version, if the chapters are short, etc) when your time is not your own.
That's all for now. You're doing great, Frankie x
Living in these stripy Arket trousers, thanks so much. Thank you for providing me with a fashion lifeline here! xx
I would have been so ragey if that man had done that in front of my kids (silently, obviously, wouldn't want to draw attention to myself.)