Wearing white when you're a mum
Playing with fire
There are certain things that are absolutely pointless in wearing when you have small kids as they will, without a doubt, get ruined: hand-wash jumpers, dry-clean-only silk, expensive sunglasses, bags made of that super-soft buttery leather that scratches if you so much as look at it the wrong way.
The biggie is white.
Keeping white clothes clean is a nightmare at the best of times, let alone when there's a tiny tornado of mess swirling at your knee. Wearing white is for those who have live-in nannies, chefs, housekeepers and an army of people to do the mucky stuff for them.
But for the rest of us, unless you want to spend your evenings soaking out splats of spag bol/orange juice/park-mud/poster paint (which says ‘washable’ on the bottle but definitely isn’t), it's best to leave white things well alone.
If only I could.
Pretty indifferent to wearing white before, when I had kids I became a mega fan. Especially right after my first baby.
After my son was born, while I was still in the first few ‘what the fuck is this?’ weeks and life was nappies and reflux on repeat, the only thing I wanted to wear - and I really do mean the only thing - was a ribbed, high-neck jumper in the palest whipped-cream white.
I got hooked on the idea of wearing white jeans and bulk bought white T-shirts in COS. The summer after I had my son I spent ages searching for a white denim jacket. I went to a messy play session in the local park in a white button-down and cream shorts.
My desire to wear white was weirdly compulsive and, to play amateur psychologist, I think something to do with struggling to accept new motherhood and the overwhelming rush of love, anxiety, expectation and responsibility that came with it.
I was floored by it all; the feelings were too big, too fierce, too hard. Sometimes I wanted to run away and hide from it. Which was impossible, but white - calm, simple, impractical white - felt like an escape hatch. And a rebellion of sorts, against how sensible I was now supposed to be.
Then there was the lady on the bus.
I was on the 243 heading to soft play with both of the kids. My daughter was around three/four months old and my son wasn't toilet-trained yet, so life was literally full of shit. I was up to my elbows in nappies and everything smelled of poo.
A woman got on the bus wearing a white cotton sundress. It was shirt-shaped, hit mid-calf and had a little tie around the waist. Her hair was shiny, her nails were polished and she looked so pristinely clean and tidy, and like she’d smell of nice perfume and expensive soap, not poo. I remember staring and staring until she got off at her stop. I desperately wanted to feel how she looked.
As discussed, kids are messy. Which makes you messy. And your house. And for most of us - the ones without the army - it's unavoidable.
Sometimes there's fun in the chaos; it's wild and joyful and silly. But sometimes it drives you mad. And all you want is a little time and space to be clean and organised and glossy. A crisp white shirt, a fresh white T-shirt, a cotton sundress, is that. Even if only for a few moments, before the inevitable happens.
Some of the above might sound familiar - or maybe not. Either way, what I think we can agree on is white looks great in the summer. With a tan sandal, a flash of gold jewellery, a swoop of bronzer - so carefree and chic.
Did you see Sienna Miller in those baggy white trousers and tank? Or Alexa in that cream skirt and cardi at Wimbledon? A delight.
And while white is always a key look for summer, this season it's particularly hot thanks to Chloé (romantic dresses) Saint Laurent (crisp shirting) and Gabriela Hearst (trouser suits).
So if, for whatever your reasonings, you too want to throw common sense to the wind and wear white right now, here are three easy ways to do so (Vanish stick at the ready)…
The white jeans
When doing white jeans - or any white denim piece - an off-white/ecru shade looks more expensive than bright, optic white. Colours pair better with off-white too as the contrast is less stark.
The below jeans are Levi’s Ribcage in a wide leg. I adore this shape as it's super high-waist and gives good hold over your bum/hips/lower stomach. For something a little lower rise, these from Free People hit just below the navel. Again they're wide leg and have a wearable amount of slouch.
The white sundress
I love the romance of a white sundress. It makes me think of little Mediterranean villages with bougainvillea tumbling down white-washed walls. Or french sticks in basket bags and fields of lavender. It's the perfect holiday piece with flip flops and a beach bag. Or give it sleek city vibes with black shades and sandals.
The white summer blouse
The piece to make your blue jeans feel like summer. I’ve already flagged this blouse before but it's so good I'm doing it again; the little touches of embroidery and the covered buttons are lovely. And the necklace! A recent brand discovery that hand-makes everything in Greece and is the chicest interpretation of summer jewellery.
One more thing…
My son’s been coming into our bed during the night recently because of nightmares, and my daughter’s been ill so she’s also been in and out of the bedroom. So I’ve been sleeping in really weird positions and it’s given me neck and shoulder ache. I decided to upgrade our pillows to something firmer and more supportive, and found these from John Lewis, which are a Which? best buy. They’re £10 each, firm but not too solid and wonderfully comfortable. I imagine they’d also be great at propping you up if you’re nursing.
That's all for now. You're doing great, Frankie x
I had this too! I used to leave my white jeans at the door and put them on as I left...
My daughter is one month today (!) and white is all I want to wear!! Makes me feel elegant when new motherhood, while beautiful, is anything but glossy.