The winter coat edit
Including a great maternity option
Before we get to the coats, I’m having a reflective moment because it was my son’s birthday on Friday. Which means I've been a mum for four years. It has at once flown by (how is he so big already?!) and been so all consuming that life before it feels like something very far away.
I love being a mum. I think my kids are incredible. But motherhood doesn't complete me in the way I thought it would. Or rather, in the way we're told it should.
I’ve spent a while waiting to feel the absolute sense of purpose I thought would come with having a baby. To feel satisfied all the way to my fingertips. I think I thought becoming a mother would feel like a deep exhale. I'd be at peace. Totally contented. Totally capable.
That hasn't happened. I don't feel all-the-way complete. I still torture myself over whether I'm successful enough at work. I still compare my career/home/holidays/body to people I hardly know on Instagram. I still worry I'm not smart or interesting enough.
Perhaps I thought motherhood would make me feel more secure. Like I knew what I was doing?
Quite the opposite. Because now I also feel like I’m dropping the ball all the time: the washing isn't done; I haven't replied to emails; the kids have eaten pizza three days in a row; I haven't booked my son’s flu vaccination yet.
But here's the thing – I think that's ok. I think this idea that when women become mothers we become these breezily competent, found-myself-and-my-place-in-the world people is... Bullshit.
I recently interviewed a very famous person and she told me that when her kids were little, she assumed it would all become easier as they got bigger. But actually, the problems just get bigger too.
At first I thought 'oh jesus'. But I’ve found what she said quite comforting. Even for someone as successful and accomplished as her, with access to all the help and resources out there, having kids - being a mother - isn't straight forward. There isn't necessarily an instant when everything clicks into place and you go: 'I get it! I've totally got this!' because it’s an ever evolving thing.
And it isn't necessarily innate. There's a moment in the new Martha Stewart documentary on Netflix (if you haven't watched it yet, I’d recommend) where, when reflecting on her own experience of having her daughter, she says: “I thought it [having babies] was a natural thing and it turns out, it’s not at all natural to be a mother.”
I don’t think I’ve ever heard that said out loud in such a public way before. Of course the narrative is that women intuitively know how to be mums and bring up kids. But it's a skill. It’s something that is learnt which takes time.
Without saying something as dreadfully cheesy as, motherhood is a journey not a destination, perhaps it is. And without being a total corn dog and saying, we're all just feeling our way ... A lot of us probably are.
Alright - coats! Because it's suddenly bloody cold outside but the playground is calling.
Below an edit of this season’s most practical styles that won't make you feel like a frump.
The XL Padded
Where an oversized long puffer can look overwhelmingly massive, a shorter style can take volume. This from COS (£225) has a hood which packs away into the collar. The padding is also particularly good; deconstructed pillowy rather than tight Michelin Man rolls, which again works better on a cropped length.
The Quilted
Although still padded, quilted coats have a different vibe to a puffer; more heritage and classic. Where a puffer has cool-factor, a quilted coat is more polished. I bought a similar (but not quite so nice) version of the below coat (£199) just before I had my son and wore it to death that first winter. The belt gives versatility of silhouette; wear it cinched or loose. Plus, if you have a bump/sling and the poppers won't do all the way up, you can still tie it closed. This green is great; not too bright and not too sludgy.
The Duffle
Reminiscent of the barn jackets everyone went nuts for this autumn, this Stories duffle (£165) has extra padding for winter warmth. The cord collar is going to give a bit of country-side chic to your outfits, too. A good option if you don't want to do the sporty look.
The Waterproof Trench
I know we’ve already covered raincoats, but I tried this on from Barbour (£358) the other week and loved it so much, I wanted to share. It has a hood, huge pockets, is properly waterproof and the tartan lining is going to pep-up your jumpers and jeans. It's expensive. But practical. And a pleasure to wear.
The Long Puffer
Aka the duvet coat. Aka the comfort blanket. Aka the one to wear when it’s cold and you're tired and you have to stand in a field watching your kid jump over cones in their Little Kickers class.
It's the olive green detailing that makes this (£165) not feel like every other long black puffer out there. The double fastening is clever too: zip-up the inner layer on medium-cold days, popper the outer layer closed when it's properly freezing. And it has a hood!
The Gilet
I'm such a big fan of the double-jacketing styling trick, where you essentially use a thinner jacket to layer under a bulkier one. I first noticed it during NY fashion week when editors were layering Uniqlo-style padded liners under their winter coats for extra warmth. It also gives interesting texture to your look.
I flagged this Whistles gilet (£165) a while back and it's finally landed in store. I love how it totally switches up a black puffer (see below) but it would work equally well under a bomber or wool coat - or any old style you already have that just needs some oomph. THEN wear it on its own over a jumper or long-sleeved T-shirt when it's not so cold. It's pretty roomy so if you do want to layer it, I’d suggest sizing down. I'm a size 10 and currently have the S, but switching it for the XS.
The Wrap
I was so nervous of wearing - and ruining- a wool coat when my son was little, but I wore one last winter and found that whatever mud got on it could just be brushed off when dry (and actually the worst offender was a barman in my local who spilled a glass of red wine down it, so…).
Mine is from COS and it makes me feel that bit more put together on the days I want to feel chic and like an adult. The below (£250) is this season’s version. The tobacco brown is a slightly unusual neutral, but it’s actually really good at lifting darker colours and tempering brights.
The Non-Maternity Maternity
Yuck maternity coats! A local pregnant mum I'm friendly with was wearing this from Frankie Shop (£245) the other day, and she said it’s been the best bump-friendly thing she’s bought. The A-line shape would be easy to fit a sling under, too.
One more thing…
Laura, the founder of Feral Child, dropped me a line on Instagram and her brand name and tag line ‘clothes for feral children’ really made me laugh. It spoke to me, too - I've mentioned before that my kids are chaos and everything they wear ends up gross.
The signature jumper (£23) comes in grey, navy, ‘milk monster’ cream and ‘bogey’ green (all the better for hiding those snot smears!). They’re fleecy inside and you can chuck them in the machine. Use code TIREDMOTHER10 for 10% off.
That's all for now. You're doing great, Frankie x
❤️