Jorts, the best SPF and dressing for work after having a baby
MUMISH meets Thandi Maqubela
I'm so thrilled to have legal director, Thandi Maqubela as my next MUMISH Meets. I've been following Thandi for a while on Instagram and love the way she dresses; polished yet cool and with a sense of personality. As a former Ally McBeal fan, I’m also totally fascinated by the glimpses into her lawyer life. AND how she balances having a full-on job with a great wardrobe and a toddler.
I particularly wanted to speak to Thandi in regards to workwear. Since having kids I’ve had lots of conversations with other mothers about clothes and the challenges around getting dressed. One subject that comes up again and again is what to wear when going back to work.
There's so much going on here: the major gear shift from casual to smart; the panic when old workwear doesn't fit or feels different; the desire to look chic and ‘together’ when inside you’re feeling anything but.
It's a big, daunting hurdle which, as someone who mainly works from home and in an industry where pretty much anything goes when it comes to clothes, I’ve only scratched the surface of.
Not only does Thandi have experience of navigating more corporate dress codes, she does it in such a stylish way and aces that balance of looking smart and professional while still keeping her personal style aesthetic.
But it’s not all work. Thandi’s casual wardrobe is super chic. She’s always got a great summer dress, too. Her love of clothes and putting outfits together feels so joyful and uplifting. Motivating, too – especially when you’re feeling stuck with styling ideas. And she was an absolute pleasure to speak to.
So here we go… MUMISH meets Thandi Maqubela.
FG: How has your style changed since having a baby?
TM: I definitely had a ‘I have no idea what my personal style is’ moment after having our son, who is now just under three. I was dealing with huge breastfeeding boobs, I’d gained a bit of weight, my pre-pregnancy wardrobe didn’t fit for quite a while and I was sick to death of the clothes I wore on constant rotation while pregnant. I was well and truly ready to never see a button-down shirt again! I didn’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe because, on reflection, I was probably afraid of resigning myself to the size I was at the time. I completely understand that in hindsight that thought process wasn’t really helpful or kind to myself, nor is it the ‘right’ approach – whatever that may be when it comes to examining our relationship to our bodies.
FG: Has your relationship with clothes been affected by having a child?
TM: Perhaps in the sense of getting more enjoyment out of putting an outfit together and getting DRESSED. I mentioned above how I railed against my pregnancy clothes after having our son. I think this was for two reasons: firstly, I was desperate for something fresh and new. Secondly, I wanted to make choices that were about me and only me; I was tired of dressing for a bump, or for the ease of breastfeeding. We give so much of ourselves during pregnancy and in the months (years?!) after having a child. I feel like this was a clawing back of something I use to get so much enjoyment out of and being able to re-connect with it really made me (and still makes me) happy. I adore being a mother but I also love getting dressed up for work (always have – blame the lawyers on Suits) and for dinners with friends.
FG: Is there anything you didn't wear before becoming a mum that you do now?
TM: Leggings. So. Many. Leggings. From Varley and Commando.
FG: Anything you've stopped wearing?
TM: Long floaty column dresses. It felt like I wore them constantly throughout pregnancy and so I'm kind of bored of them - still almost three years on!
FG: A lot of women I speak to struggle with knowing how to dress for work after having a baby. You're so brilliant at looking smart and stylish, so I wondered – how did you find getting back into workwear?
TM: First of all, thank you – this is kind of you to say. I took just shy of a year maternity leave, so I had a bit of time to figure out how I wanted to approach workwear – and by that time a few more pieces in my wardrobe were accessible to me. Transitioning back into work-mode was a really fun exercise in that it allowed me to express a bit more of my personality and get back to ‘me’. In the first few months back I stuck with the cinched-waist midi dresses and heels formula I was familiar with. Then slowly I started to bring in slacks, tailoring and having fun with proportions. Full transparency, I found getting dressed-up for the office where people took me seriously a really nice change from negotiating (and losing!) with a toddler.
FG: What pieces do you rely on to make you feel smart and chic?
TM: I have a weakness for dresses, especially in the office. I tend to lean into my femininity when it comes to how I dress for work – irrespective of working in a still largely male-dominated space, particularly at leadership level. I’m having a serious moment with kitten heels again, comfortable and ever-so-chic! And a good belt will stand you in good stead. Déhanche are making exceptional belts right now.
FG: Which brands do you look at for stylish workwear?
TM: COS, J.Crew, Jigsaw, Toteme, Aligne, Jospeh, Tibi and Rejina Pyo. The Fold makes excellent silk blouses.
FG: How did you find returning to work after mat leave?
TM: I was desperate to get back to work and my desperation definitely masked my naivete regarding how tricky it would be, especially in the first few months where we were sick ALL. THE. TIME. Nursery bugs are a nightmare! It took me longer than anticipated to find my feet again, to figure out how I wanted to approach leading my team and where my career was going. I remember feeling frustrated at how long things were taking to click back into place. But on reflection, I think that’s exactly what I needed in terms of having the time and space to figure out what my next strategic move would be. Kudos to my immediate leadership team who were incredibly supportive in my transition back to work.
FG: What do you wear at the weekend?
TM: I never thought I'd say this but I've become a jorts girl (the word actually makes me cringe, so I say bermudas). I have a cream pair from Haikure, and a 90s blue wash Mother pair in heavy rotation.
FG: What's the most worn piece in your wardrobe?
TM: My Boden tapered jeans. And the many COS roll-necks I’ve accumulated over the years – they go with everything!
FG: What piece makes you feel like you?
TM: A dress in any shape or form. Currently I’m wearing a cream maxi dress from Raey. It’s surprisingly easy to style for the office.
FG: What are your go-to beauty products that make getting ready quicker/easier in the morning?
TM: Beauty Pie Featherlight SPF 50 and Triple Hyaluronic Acid Serum. The SPF has absolutely no white cast, which is very important for me, it has great coverage and gives my skin a nice glow. I also use it when I go running and it doesn’t sting my eyes when I get sweaty. The THAS absorbs well and is so incredibly hydrating. It really stands out from the rest when it comes to this.
FG: What could you not parent without?
TM: My husband – we keep each other sane and laugh at the ridiculousness and sometimes indignity of parenting a toddler! Also, the 45 minutes/1 hour I take for myself in the mornings to run/lift weights/yoga – any form of movement.
FG: What would you like to share with other mums?
TM: There is no instruction manual for this and we’re all just trying to do our best. And if you’re a new mum go easy on yourself. Give yourself permission to stop doing whatever doesn’t feel right or good anymore – be it breastfeeding, clapping along to songs in a circle with your six-month-old, those jeans that no longer make you feel good, your placenta pills, the 34 WhatsApp messages you can’t face responding to – whatever! Put yourself first and the rest will follow.
The Edit
Two more things…
I went away with the kids for the first time in ages the other week (more on where we went soon) and was reminded of how much easier packing squares make packing everyone up. I allocate a square to each child, one for suncream/hats/Calpol/other medical bits and one for my underwear/swimsuits. They stop everything getting mixed up in the bag and make me feel like I'm on top of things. I have the below from Tiba + Marl, but I think they're discontinued. These are fun and love all the different colour options of these.
I know I mention With Nothing Underneath often - it's not a paid thing, I just really rate the brand. In an industry dominated by fast-fashion and newness, I think it's so smart to focus on one area (e.g. shirting) and make the best version. As a customer, you really feel like you’re buying expertise - and something that will last. The new seersucker pieces have landed (this for the beach! These at the park!) and I don't think they'll be around for long.
That's all for now. You're doing great, Frankie x
Thanks for such a lovely message Emma! Totally feel you with the pregnancy-to-breastfeeding pinball and the body (and hormone!) havoc. Hope you're doing well x
Hi Frankie, I just wanted to say thank you so much for these posts. I had a baby in October and already had a two year old so I've gone from pregnant, to breastfeeding, to pregnant, to breastfeeding. Luckily my body deflated inbetween but I'm in a sticky spot now where I feel uncomfortable in my body. Your newsletters are really (for lack of a better word), inspiring. I have zero budget for new clothes but even your tip about styling cool sunnies with a boring, practical park outfit was great! Thank you for leaving it unpaid. When I'm back at work & earning I will add a paid subscription 🙏 xx