Five minute make-up, emotional support Prada and raising kids on a farm
MUMISH Meets Gem Bon-Scherdel
I'm absolutely delighted to have Gem Bon-Scherdel, founder of Restaries, as my next MUMISH Meets.
I first met Gem back in my twenties when I was fashion assistant at The Telegraph’s Stella Magazine. She worked on the PR team for Whistles before moving to Topman and was always one of the coolest - and most fun! - people in the room, be it at a press day, fashion show or launch party.
Although Gem pivoted away from the world of fashion PR to become Content Director of Soho House, we’ve kept in touch. I've been avidly following along on Instagram as she quit the city and moved to Suffolk with her husband and two daughters to embark on a new adventure: the renovation of a 16th-century farm and launch of Restaries, a collection of beautiful accommodation and event spaces.
Whether it's wedding dresses or wall colours (or holidays!) Gem’s taste is always spot on. I was so interested to know how she’s merging her innate sense of style with motherhood - and find out more about her new life in the country.
So, here we go…MUMISH Meets Gem Bon-Scherdel.
FG: How many kids do you have and how old are they?
GB-S: Aries Rae who’s three and and Deia Luma who is one.
FG: How has your style changed since becoming a mother? Anything you’ve stopped wearing/started wearing that you didn't pre-kids?
GB-S: So much. I realised quite quickly having dry clean items that were constantly covered in food was not practical. My kids are also speed demons, so I need to be able to move quickly – so flat shoes. I also have more fun dressing the girls, especially Aries. She had a better wardrobe than me in her first year!
FG: As someone who has worked in fashion and always celebrated and enjoyed clothes, I wondered how your relationship with clothes has evolved since having your daughters?
GB-S: I think spending money on designer clothes felt frivolous once my first was born. I didn’t have time to go shopping anymore, so I had less temptation to buy new clothes. I do however treat myself during key moments; for my 40th birthday I bought myself a Taller Marmo dress – it was epic. I did sell it straight after, though!
FG: You’ve had another big life shift recently in that you left London and moved to Suffolk. You mentioned to me that got rid of a lot of your wardrobe when you moved out of the city. Can you tell me a bit more about this - what made you want to start anew?
GB-S: I’ve found that process of decluttering really cathartic and I didn’t need half the clothes in my wardrobe. We also really needed cash for the renovations on the farm, so this made me ever more ruthless when getting rid of things. I sold them all via One Scoop, which is a mega shop in Stoke Newington. I then only got items that were needed rather than shopping for the sake of it.
FG: Is there anything you got rid of that you wish you’d kept?
GB-S: I bought a Prada bag at the end of my first maternity leave to give me a bit of confidence going back to work. It was quite daunting being off for a whole year, so it was a crutch to feel like the old me. Funnily enough, I sold it to one of my besties who I used to work with, so it’s gone to a good place.
FG: What is your current day-to-day uniform?
GB-S: My RE/DONE Levi’s jeans have been worn to death! A Jean & Temple knit which I’m currently obsessed with and – my one designer item left in my wardrobe – a pair of chunky Prada boots which I’ve worn pretty much every day for the last three years. Or if I’m in the pig field, I chuck on my wellies and my 66 North jacket.
FG: You quit your job at Soho House, moved out of London, started renovating Paradise Farm and had your second daughter all in the last two years. That's a lot of life change in one go. I've always found the thought of throwing everything up in the air and starting again strangely appealing - but you've actually done it and I'd love to know what the experience was like?
GB-S: I love to make things hard for myself and I don’t like to sit still – but this really was madness. Best-laid plans are never really a reality; I had thought a renovation on maternity leave seemed like a good idea, but planning permission was delayed and as money was running out very quickly, I had to rethink things and get some cash coming in. So, I was pretty much working two weeks after she was born.
FG: How did that impact your experience of motherhood?
GB-S: It was very different the second time around. With Aries, it was super chilled; I had time to go see friends, hang out with new mums, attend classes and go on holidays. There was none of this the second time round. It felt like 14 months of pure survival mode. I have literally only just come out the other side of living in two-hour sleep segments and I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I felt guilty for a while that my second, Deia, wasn’t getting the same experience. But there are lots of things she is getting that Aries didn’t have – the fresh air, the animals, the nature... so things balance out in the end.
FG: You are known for throwing an excellent party - and having the party outfits to match! On this subject I’d like to ask, has dressing up changed since you’ve become a mum? (I almost dress up more now that I go out less. I need that fix of glamour. Also to remind myself I can look nice! And I feel like I want to look sexy more now - again probably to remind myself I can be.)
GB-S: Oh, I love an excuse to dress up – and yes, we love a party! I actually now tend to rent. I loan out so many of my party items from my London days via By Rotation and I’ve started renting for special occasions as well. In fact, I had a dear friend's wedding recently and I knew I wanted to feel nice since it was my first time out since Deia was born and everyone there would be super glam. So, I rented an entire outfit—bag, earrings, and dress. It was over £1k worth of clothes and I paid £40, as I had credit from my rentals. It was the nicest I’d felt in years.
FG: Where do you shop - what are your favourite brands?
GB-S: I love The Frankie Shop, Cult Gaia and Ganni. I love searching vintage stores for hidden treasures, too.
FG: What is the piece that makes you feel like you?
GB-S: It’s actually just my staple RE/DONE jeans and a plain white tee. I’m constantly searching for the perfect white tee (that’s a song, right?). Currently, my favourite is Sunspel.
FG: What is in your 5-minute make-up kit?
GB-S: Merit! Its all about the 4-step collection – quick, simple and natural.
FG: What bag is your mum bag – and what's in it?
GB-S: Tibi + Marl. Phone, snacks and nappies.
FG: What advice/insight would you like to share with other mothers?
GB-S: No one has it all figured out, no matter what Instagram shows! So, do not compare yourself. Do whatever suits you—that might be ripping up the rulebook and just figuring it out as you go along.
Restaries.com
The Edit
One more thing…
Sunglasses! For under £65! Because it’s suddenly hardcore spring (for now… ) and we need chic shades that up the ante of whatever outfit, but can be chucked into a bag and won't give you a meltdown if they get a few knocks.
That’s all for now. You’re doing great, Frankie x